TOSS

Being honest with yourself

Owning up to your part

Not allowing ideas to smear

As the spear pierces down deep

 

Overwhelming emotions erupting from laminated pain

Thoughts swayed feeling betrayed

Led astray by comforting thoughts

Obviously shedding tears for not

 

Images created from societal niches

Born again believers are encrusted with riches

Self-esteem out on a limb

Needing those chains to be broken

 

Tired of sin seriously

Depression can take complete control if you let it

In and out of it

Drawing you away from what is happening in the present

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My Daddy

Trying to be tough is my greatest bluff now my heart has corroded

I finally allowed myself to cry and it just didn’t seem to be enough

This feeling inside my heart is rough

Apparently I’m not as strong in this area as I had previously thought

This process has brought calm to my psyche

Yet reality has stood up and feels as though it’s attacking me

This pressure is redefining who I claim to be

Clearly my FATHER has other plans for me

As I take inventory of the people around me

HIS fingerprints are being made apparent to everyone but me

The absent parent can “like” everything

But HE has molded me to be liked by many to minister HIS vitality

My purpose has begun to surface

As my low self-esteem issues have eroded

I chose the wrong father to please

It’s HIS approval that I need

My tears have turned to joy as I try to view myself as HE does

The smudges in my journal make my sarcastic commentary illegible

As HIS Spirit massaged my heart my body begins to relax

Chatter from unbelievers begin to infuse me

How could I let this man define me

How could I reflect on his opinion of me

My journey had been steered by the motto of breaking the generational dysfunction

As I hold my head up high I’m breaking that last chain of disdain

His flaws I can no longer hang on to and blame

The Flame burning inside of me

Has reassured me that its more to me than the last name he gave me

The name HE gave me is more precious to me

As my mouth cries out why didn’t I get a chance to have a daddy

He brings to my remembrance of how HE has sustained me

My tears from his inflammatory commentary will no longer frame me

Even though he’s ashamed of me

HE claimed me

My Abba Father loves me

Psyche

A piece of my heart broke when I released you from my psyche

See you thought you had me

I was caught up in your words of affirmation

You made me feel amazing

Yet just like that no communication

I felt worthless and confused

Had I imagined all of the attention that was shown to me

Did you even acknowledge me without technology

Perhaps in my fantasy more had taken place

You didn’t even want to show your face

In public displays of affection you led me down a road of rejection

I know I’m nowhere near your view of perfection

But I have a lot of dedication

In my journey I’ve learned so many things

My beauty is way more than my dimples

Love isn’t that simple when jaded views have tarnished your perception

I will never understand your delayed reactions

Now all of your texts are been sent like a chain reaction

Did you notice the last time the glimmer had left my eye

Now you want to hang around like a sty

I’m better than you previously thought

Too late for the take me backs

I’m done with all of your self-esteem attacks

Stay in the gutter by your lonesome

I have another road that has been less travelled

No longer straddling

If it’s meant to be….he will be….because HE is always with me

 

beautifleye