Unspoken Beef

Mesmerized by words left online

Trying to climb out of the sublime view of once in a lifetime

Not knowing you felt the same way

Apparently we never connected

 

Destined to seek you out we have so much in common

I truly believed those lyrics of you and me

Walls built so high to let the nay sayers slide by

Intrigued by your approach

 

Wondering what is truly behind your style of reproach

Honesty being the main theme

Truly hiding behind schemes

You are the man of my dreams, who became my reality

 

I thought you loved me

We were meant to be

You drove miles for me

Deceived by subtleties

Advertisements

Seriously

Surely you jest

This precious time has presented itself

Let me get this off of my chest

To eliminate the rest of your nonsensical unrest

 

Your claims attest to my ranking as the best

Putting all other women claims to rest

My confidence always exceeded your test

Lack of communication could have deterred this mess

 

I have seen a lot of growth in you and I

No longer trying to get that piece of pie

Surrounded by spurious notions of love

Our kerfuffle always ended up degrading one another

 

This exercise in futility has led to unresolved anger resurfacing

Why must we go around in this infinitesimal circle of grandeur

Of what could have been

What part of my life are you planning on staying in

Dimly Lit

This lampstand has lost the direction it once had

The zeal has come and gone like the latest fad

Once consumed with a lifestyle can now make me sad

Memories appearing on that tiny screen making me mad

 

A still small voice conjuring up hope

Enshrouded in despair believing no one cared

Should I even dare

My life has a total sum of zero

 

This adult life had so much in store for me

Yet I kept beginning seemingly unwilling to compete

Leaving projects stuck in a melee of thoughts

No end in sight to muster up a small spotlight

 

Plan made in an instant

It should happen quickly

No time to say goodbye

An open gash on a wrist

 

Lines unfinished

Visions diminished

Unable to see clearly

Her lovely voice kept calling out to me

 

….please do not leave me here alone

Constantly Lit

Life sustained in every obstacle placed before her

Strength increased as each mountain implodes

With each stride blessings poured out immensely

Following Him is readily seen as common sense driven

 

All that has been set before her

Can be applied as a jewel

Her crown sustained with true balance

Willingly devoted to serve

 

Her sanctuary multiplied five times over physically

Spiritually unable to count

Visually sustained with every step

Encouraged through ideas that have developed into ministries

 

Reigns held tightly

Praise given mightily

Godly woman demeanor displayed humbly

Bowed in His grace magnificently

I find it interesting….

You are flirting with me knowing you have a wife at home

You are smiling at me but scowling at your child

You are so mesmerized by my presence that you neglect your guest

You are daydreaming about seeing me again

 

Yet you forgot to inform me of your situation

How could you let those words fall so seductively from you lips

Why try to entice my hips with your tight grip

My name continually drips from your mouth

 

Should I even try anymore

All I attract are those who are attached

My portrayal must be beguiling

All this attention and I am not even trying

 

The lying is deceptive

Unable to be truly descriptive

Someone reading this may began to wonder

You must have thought I fell off into a deep slumber

…because

A homebody at heart

Knowing that we are meant to be social beings

Not allowing many into my sanctuary

Allowing my hermit stage to evolve

 

Involvement has been few and far between

Long phone calls are irritating

Send a quick text getting to the point

Perhaps that could be the reason why

 

Unable to truly let all of my walls down

I will not be clowned

Disrespect is frowned upon

Leading to a verbal beat down

 

This crown has been placed upon my curly locs

My heart has not been unlocked

Emotionally unavailable to lack luster thoughts

Unless you will answer the call of my rock

 

Your messages will be blocked

Blessings upon my life

Also taken as curses

If your presence is mistaken for presents

At times

Too much pressure upon myself I have applied

The standards I have set for myself are worthwhile

My time stamp has become an issue

Many times beginning things without finishing

 

Learning scales are different for everyone

Hands on experience has been my greatest skillset

Yet unfinished business has been in academia for sometime

Options have now been presented

 

Now that dull feeling deep in my subconscious can no longer be denied

Accomplishments are on the rise

Doubting myself must subside

Into the finish line I must slide

 

Dreams disguised as disappointments

Applied to my life calendar

Never realizing how much is left on the landscape

Into my bewilderment I must escape

 

Unwilling to fight for me

Yearning to please everyone else

In order to rise

This prize must be claimed

 

Resigning from the naysayers

Uplifting myself by girding my grind

My time to shine will be at the gates

My journey here still awaits