My Daddy

Trying to be tough is my greatest bluff now my heart has corroded

I finally allowed myself to cry and it just didn’t seem to be enough

This feeling inside my heart is rough

Apparently I’m not as strong in this area as I had previously thought

This process has brought calm to my psyche

Yet reality has stood up and feels as though it’s attacking me

This pressure is redefining who I claim to be

Clearly my FATHER has other plans for me

As I take inventory of the people around me

HIS fingerprints are being made apparent to everyone but me

The absent parent can “like” everything

But HE has molded me to be liked by many to minister HIS vitality

My purpose has begun to surface

As my low self-esteem issues have eroded

I chose the wrong father to please

It’s HIS approval that I need

My tears have turned to joy as I try to view myself as HE does

The smudges in my journal make my sarcastic commentary illegible

As HIS Spirit massaged my heart my body begins to relax

Chatter from unbelievers begin to infuse me

How could I let this man define me

How could I reflect on his opinion of me

My journey had been steered by the motto of breaking the generational dysfunction

As I hold my head up high I’m breaking that last chain of disdain

His flaws I can no longer hang on to and blame

The Flame burning inside of me

Has reassured me that its more to me than the last name he gave me

The name HE gave me is more precious to me

As my mouth cries out why didn’t I get a chance to have a daddy

He brings to my remembrance of how HE has sustained me

My tears from his inflammatory commentary will no longer frame me

Even though he’s ashamed of me

HE claimed me

My Abba Father loves me